Few days back in social networking site "orkut", I cam across this. A person wants to know which car he should buy with a budget of up to 20 lakhs. Some answers given to him by people around the country really made me laugh and gave idea to write this article about what would the answers be if the same question was asked to different people in different states in India.
The query was:
Which is the best car to buy with a budget of 20 lakhs.
The answers could have been
1. West Bengal or Orissa:
Rather buy a bus, so that whole community gets benefited.
2. North Eastern States:
Car???? What is a car??
3. Bihar:
Use Indian Railways instead. Comfortable, affordable, convenient and yes only profit making organisation at the time of recession.
4. Uttar Pradesh:
Instead of 1 car for 20 lakhs buy 10 cars of 2 lakhs each so that more people gets employment (as a chauffeur). Out of those 10 seats, 2 must be reserved for SC, 6 for OBC, 1 for PH, 1 for Defence wards and remaining for General candidates.
5. Delhi:
Buy any car but make sure it runs on CNG, else you have to run away from Delhi.
6. Haryana:
Buy any car, but dont ever dare to come near Haryana Roadways if you want you an your car safe.
7. Punjab:
Oye Gaddi Shaddi, oye lakhh lakkh badhayi oye.. pats his back, rather beats his backs and move away.. The guy asks another person and same thing happens... Poor guy still in a fix.
8. Himachal Pradesh:
There are no cars that can run on snow, so we dont buy cars
9. Jammu & Kashmir:
Dont know... In Pakistan, there are no cars for 20 lakhs.
10. Rajasthan:
First let us construct roads, then you buy a car.. till then buy a camel.
11. Madhya Pradesh:
Dont ask this question. Bureaucrats wont answer and tribals dont know.
12. Gujrat:
Dont buy a car today, Invest in shares, In two years your money would be doubled, then you can buy a car worth 40 lakhs.
13. Maharashtra:
If you are a Marathi, you can buy any car, If not, let me see how you buy a car?
14. Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh:
Car.. Invest 20 lakhs and build a software firm. Follow Narayan Murthy and Azim Premji
15. Kerala:
Why waste money, Buy a car worth 2 lakhs and donate the rest of money for charity.
16. Tamil Nadu:
Sorry sir, I cant understand Hindi!
Person: But I m asking in English.
Reply: Sorry Sir I know only that much that I dont know Hindi.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Times have changed
A famous English proverb says,
"Mother Nature have enough resources for everyone's need but not for everyone's greed."
How relevant is this proverb on today's date? Do mother nature today have enough resources for everyone's need? May be yes? but will we be able to say this say twenty years from now.
A theory says that the reason for extinction of dinosaurs was that they grew large in numbers. They were dinosaurs, with brain size equal to that of a lizard, but we are humans, the wisest species on earth, are we not moving the way dinosaurs did?
Consider this: How many open spaces we see around today? Take for instance a simple journey to nearest town by bus. What do we see? Skyscrapers, Real estate buildings, urban jungles. Now remember those farmlands, fields and forests that were visible during the same journey say fifteen years before. Where have they all vanished?
Number of vehicles running on roads of Delhi or Mumbai have far outnumbered the capacity their roads can handle. The average time for traveling from ITO to Noida or say from VT to Navi Mumbai has increased to double what it was just few years ago. While cities have gained vehicles that can run at 200 kilometers per hour and numerous flyovers.
The average salary of a person may have doubled or may be trebled and so are his expenses but somehow his wings are crumbled. Building have started growing vertically than horizontally. The clusters of skyscrapers that were a sight to watch have today become a great hindrance to sight that winter sun or that full moon. Even in small towns that terrace has disappeared.
Problems may have changed. Malnutrition is today replaced by obesity. Unemployment finds substitute in Work overload. Poverty is replaced by insecurity. Ignorance has paved way to different phobias. Scarcity of food is now scarcity for land to grow food. Epidemics may by far have vanished but newer diseases are there to replace them. Today it is not required to go to America or Europe for a Heart Surgery, but that probably has given people an excuse to have heart diseases.
The problems of yesterday were unemployment, illiteracy, poverty, ignorance.
But which of them were irreversible?
The problems of today are pollution, population explosion, terrorism etc.
Are they not irreversible?
Times surely have changed. But have they changed for better?
"Mother Nature have enough resources for everyone's need but not for everyone's greed."
How relevant is this proverb on today's date? Do mother nature today have enough resources for everyone's need? May be yes? but will we be able to say this say twenty years from now.
A theory says that the reason for extinction of dinosaurs was that they grew large in numbers. They were dinosaurs, with brain size equal to that of a lizard, but we are humans, the wisest species on earth, are we not moving the way dinosaurs did?
Consider this: How many open spaces we see around today? Take for instance a simple journey to nearest town by bus. What do we see? Skyscrapers, Real estate buildings, urban jungles. Now remember those farmlands, fields and forests that were visible during the same journey say fifteen years before. Where have they all vanished?
Number of vehicles running on roads of Delhi or Mumbai have far outnumbered the capacity their roads can handle. The average time for traveling from ITO to Noida or say from VT to Navi Mumbai has increased to double what it was just few years ago. While cities have gained vehicles that can run at 200 kilometers per hour and numerous flyovers.
The average salary of a person may have doubled or may be trebled and so are his expenses but somehow his wings are crumbled. Building have started growing vertically than horizontally. The clusters of skyscrapers that were a sight to watch have today become a great hindrance to sight that winter sun or that full moon. Even in small towns that terrace has disappeared.
Problems may have changed. Malnutrition is today replaced by obesity. Unemployment finds substitute in Work overload. Poverty is replaced by insecurity. Ignorance has paved way to different phobias. Scarcity of food is now scarcity for land to grow food. Epidemics may by far have vanished but newer diseases are there to replace them. Today it is not required to go to America or Europe for a Heart Surgery, but that probably has given people an excuse to have heart diseases.
The problems of yesterday were unemployment, illiteracy, poverty, ignorance.
But which of them were irreversible?
The problems of today are pollution, population explosion, terrorism etc.
Are they not irreversible?
Times surely have changed. But have they changed for better?
Monday, September 1, 2008
While watching Anand a few days back, I was wondering how different it would have been if it was not made by Late Hrishikesh Mukherjee.
Whereas Hrishiji crafted a masterpiece. Lets see how different it would have been, If it was made by few other directors.
If Anand was made by David Lynch
1. Anand would have been suffering from AIDS rather than cancer.
2. Prakash's wife and Anand would have been past lovers instead of brothers and sisters.
3. A gay relationship would have developed between Anand and Bhaskar towards the latter part of movie.
4. Last scene would have been a smooch between Bhaskar and Renu instead of Anand speaking on tape.
If Anand was made by Manoj Shyamalan
1. Anand would not have been ill but possessed by evil spirits
2. Dr. Bhaskar would have been dead but only visible to Anand
3. Renu would also have been dead but only visible to Anand
4. All characters would have been dead but only visible to Anand
If Anand was made by Quentin Tarantino
1. Half an hour scene of Anand's operation would have been shown, where each stitch and how doctors cut different body parts is shown clearly
2. Anand's death would have been by exploding of a vein, (preferably of head or throat) and it would have been shown very clearly how Anand's head breaks in two pieces after the vien explodes.
If Anand was made by Karan Johar
1. All the characters of movie would have been NRIs
2. Anand's role would have been played by Shahrukh Khan
3. The gal whom Bhaskar loves would actually have been the one who ditched Anand earlier.
4. Just before the climax, at least half an hour scene of weding between Dr. Bhaskar and Renu would have been shown.
If Anand was made by Madhur Bhandarkar.
1. In Dr. Bhaskar's hospital all doctors would have been shown as corrupt except Bhaskar and Prakash.
2. Doctors would have wanted to sell Anand's body part and make money out of it. (which Anand would have protested)
3. In the end Bhaskar would have died and Anand survived. (Anand's fate would not have been shown)
If Anand was made by Vikram Bhatt.
1. Anand would have been a gangster in his past.
2. Anand's girlfriend would have ditched him after knowing that he is a gangster.
3. There would have been ten kissing scenes in the movie
4. After coming in contact with Bhaskar Anand realises that his ex girlfriend is married to Dr. Bhaskar.
5. Hence Anand commits suicide.
Whereas Hrishiji crafted a masterpiece. Lets see how different it would have been, If it was made by few other directors.
If Anand was made by David Lynch
1. Anand would have been suffering from AIDS rather than cancer.
2. Prakash's wife and Anand would have been past lovers instead of brothers and sisters.
3. A gay relationship would have developed between Anand and Bhaskar towards the latter part of movie.
4. Last scene would have been a smooch between Bhaskar and Renu instead of Anand speaking on tape.
If Anand was made by Manoj Shyamalan
1. Anand would not have been ill but possessed by evil spirits
2. Dr. Bhaskar would have been dead but only visible to Anand
3. Renu would also have been dead but only visible to Anand
4. All characters would have been dead but only visible to Anand
If Anand was made by Quentin Tarantino
1. Half an hour scene of Anand's operation would have been shown, where each stitch and how doctors cut different body parts is shown clearly
2. Anand's death would have been by exploding of a vein, (preferably of head or throat) and it would have been shown very clearly how Anand's head breaks in two pieces after the vien explodes.
If Anand was made by Karan Johar
1. All the characters of movie would have been NRIs
2. Anand's role would have been played by Shahrukh Khan
3. The gal whom Bhaskar loves would actually have been the one who ditched Anand earlier.
4. Just before the climax, at least half an hour scene of weding between Dr. Bhaskar and Renu would have been shown.
If Anand was made by Madhur Bhandarkar.
1. In Dr. Bhaskar's hospital all doctors would have been shown as corrupt except Bhaskar and Prakash.
2. Doctors would have wanted to sell Anand's body part and make money out of it. (which Anand would have protested)
3. In the end Bhaskar would have died and Anand survived. (Anand's fate would not have been shown)
If Anand was made by Vikram Bhatt.
1. Anand would have been a gangster in his past.
2. Anand's girlfriend would have ditched him after knowing that he is a gangster.
3. There would have been ten kissing scenes in the movie
4. After coming in contact with Bhaskar Anand realises that his ex girlfriend is married to Dr. Bhaskar.
5. Hence Anand commits suicide.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Top ten hindi movie characters of all Time.
Here I am writting down top ten best hindi movies' characters of all time, These are the characters that are played by few of the most talented actors but the character stands out amidst the actor itself, nowhere the personality reminds you of the actor who is actually playing it.
Here's my list
1. Akbar the Great played by Prithvi Raj Kapoor.(Mughal E Azam)
Prithvi Raj Kapoor portrays the emperor with brilliance and becomes one of the reason by the movie Mughal E Azam is still remembered. His dialogue delivery was par excellence.
2. Anand played by Rajesh Khanna (Anand)
Anand is one character that is so simple and yet so complex, a cancer patient who has only few months of life teaches how to live the life to fullest. Amazingly brilliant performace
3. Daku Gabbar Singh played by Amjad Khan (Sholay)
Sholay is one of the movies in which each and every character was brilliant. Be it Veeru, Jai, Basanti, Thakur or even smaller ones like kaalia, saambha, jailor.. et al. But even in that impressive line up, one that really shines is Gabbar Singh. One of the best villian Hindi Cinema has ever produced.
4. Mogambo played by Amrish Puri in Mr. India
Mr. India, the movie belongs to Anil Kapoor, but the role of Mogambo played by Amrish Puri stands out, with his phrase "Mogambo Khush Hua" which is still remembered.
5. Vijay Chauhan played by Amitabh Bachchan in Agneepath
Vijay Chauhan, who pledges to gift the village to his mother, from where she was insulted and thrown out. He grows up and become a don.
No one except Amitabh Bachchan could have played the role better.
6. Bhuvan played by Amir Khan in Lagaan
Bhuvan motivates a group of innocent villagers to fight against the might of British Empire and ends up winning and freeing the villagers from evil Captain Russel.
7. Babu Bhaiya played by Paresh Rawal in Hera Pheri.
Paresh rawal perfects the role of a poor guy, in this laugh riot.
8. Karan Shergill played by Hrithik Roshan in Lakshya
Hrithik depict the journey of a person from a confused youth to an army man who finds his lakshya. Amazingly brilliant performance and highly motivating character.
9. Mohan Bhargav played by Shahrukh Khan
Shahrukh Khan's best performance ever as the NRI who comes back home to meet his nanny and ends up reforming the society.
10. Ishaan Awasthi played by Darsheel Safary in Taare Zameen Par
The young Ishaan plays with ease the role of a dyslexic child and went on to win nemerous award nominations as best actor.
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